No idea.

It's been a long time since I deleted my old blog. The reason is that I don't want to remind about the past. But here today, I start to write once again.
So many past experiences make me feel like don't wanna involve with people anymore, especially getting close and giving efforts. I have made promises with myself that I will put myself in the top of priority list. But things are funny until the day I realized there is somebody in there yet not myself. I have no idea how and when that person become this important, yet I just know that they cross my mind every single day. Then, I start questioning myself why should I try hard and give so much effort like that? Yes, I'm afraid. I'm afraid that one day I will regret. I'm more afraid that just one day we have to say goodbye. After a month and half of being together, sometimes I feel that we are not meant to be and I found nowhere I stand. Admittedly, no matter how much I want to be there, I want to be close, the past keep hunting me. The evil side of me wishper near my ear that I shouldn't have done that. So depressing you know? When you're really like that person, you wish you guys are better to stay tgt, you wish everything will be fine, you give so many efforts, but deep down, you can't find where you stand, you know you're not suppose to be there, you have to give up, you don't have to care what's going on and how are they.
I mentally exhausted.

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