DeepInside

"What's a point for me to do so?" is kind of question stucks in my head lately. I've been too much. Too much of caring, too much of worrying and it ended up too much stressing myself too. Last night, when the whole of my heart and soul wanna accompany somebody, I leave everything behind and I was being left. Suddenly, I was speechless and can't even find a word to say. Like I wasn't mad but more disappointed. Like I was there but still found nowhere I stand. Like I feel so fool by realizing the fact. I even forgot how many time I told myself not to care about others but is there once I can do that? Nope, lol. I was wondering if they ever appreciate little things I did. They told me to go home and leave them alone while all I wanted to do was being there. They told me they want to be alone while they ended up calling friends to go outside. They told me not to text or call when they went out at night while I was home worried as hell. They promised me to come hom

There is a different between people who are always around you and people who are always be there for you. A sentence "I care about you" is easy to say but does it actually mean that way? Instead of using that sentence, you can realized how much a person care about you when they asked you "how was your day?" "Have you eat anything yet?" and they tell you to "Drive safety" or "Be safe" and another "Text me when you're home." You might not realize how much that little things matter or you don't even care about that kind of texts. But trust me, that kind of person you should keep because they actually care about you. You know what? A person'a time is valuable. But if they always free their time just for you, you are really matter to them. If there is a person who wake up early just to buy you breakfast, who walk in cold weather just to see you, who call or text just to make sure you are got home safe, who take care of

It's been a long time since I deleted my old blog. The reason is that I don't want to remind about the past. But here today, I start to write once again. So many past experiences make me feel like don't wanna involve with people anymore, especially getting close and giving efforts. I have made promises with myself that I will put myself in the top of priority list. But things are funny until the day I realized there is somebody in there yet not myself. I have no idea how and when that person become this important, yet I just know that they cross my mind every single day. Then, I start questioning myself why should I try hard and give so much effort like that? Yes, I'm afraid. I'm afraid that one day I will regret. I'm more afraid that just one day we have to say goodbye. After a month and half of being together, sometimes I feel that we are not meant to be and I found nowhere I stand. Admittedly, no matter how much I want to be there, I want to be close, the pa